While cleaning out a drawer of things that belonged to my mother, I found a small notebook with the following jokes in her handwriting. She loved jotting down jokes she heard from "wherever". For what they're worth, I'm sharing them with you. Take them as you will.
Lawyer: "You say you were about 35 feet from the scene of the accident. Now please tell the court just how far you can see clearly."
Witness: "Well, when I wake up in the morning I can see the sun. And they tell me it's about 93 million miles away."
The laziest man I ever knew was my friend Will Knot. Instead of signing his name, he just wrote, "Won't."
"First I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia, ending up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculation."
"Boy, did you have a time!"
"I'll say! I thought I'd never get through that spelling test!"
"Why don't you answer the phone?"
"It isn't ringing."
"Do you always have to wait till the last minute?"
Janet: "I'm glad you named me Janet."
Janet: "Because that's what everybody calls me."
JOKE #6: (You've got to reach back in time a bit to get this one)
Elevator boy: "Here's you're floor, son."
Man/Passenger: "Son! How dare you call me that!"
Elevator boy: "Well, I brought you up, didn't I?"