Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Making of a Book Blurb

“Blurb” is author slang for the back cover copy on a book, a plot summary tease that it’s hoped will prompt a reader who reads it to say, “Hey, that sounds interesting. I think I’ll buy this book!” These BCCs (back cover copies or “blurbs”) used to appear regularly on the back of paperback books in particular, and they still do. But since e-books don’t have a back to print these summaries on, these are now the descriptive summaries that appear for all books (e-book and print) on a book’s page at online bookstores, like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. They are important for helping potential buyers understand what they are buying before they decide to make a purchase. They are still generally called back cover copies, even for books that don’t have a back cover, or simply slanged to “book blurb.”


(Example of the Back Cover Copy on a paperback book - 
from my Christmas short story, A Candlelight Courting)


In the past, I have written all my own BCCs, even, at the request of my editor, for my traditionally published books. But when it came to writing a BCC for The Lady and the Minstrel, I felt overwhelmed. This is my longest, most complicated book to date and although I took a few stabs at it, I had difficulty deciding which plot lines to emphasize over which other plot lines and still keep the BCC short enough that it wouldn’t become a short novel in itself.


(How I felt after several failed attempts at writing a book blurb
 for The Lady and the Minstrel)


That’s when a friend recommended author Julie Coulton Bellon to me. Julie, it appeared, wrote BCCs for other authors for a very reasonable fee, alongside her personal, award winning suspense novels. (Visit her website here.) I couldn’t comprehend how someone who hadn’t read my book could come up with an effective BCC that actually reflected my book’s contents, but I was getting desperate with The Lady and the Minstrel, so I decided to contact Julie and give her a try.

Julie had me send her a 2 page, double-spaced synopsis of my story. With great difficulty I managed to boil L&M down to two double-spaced pages and sent it off. Approximately a week later, Julie came up with a perfectly splendid BCC! The only problem was, it didn’t accurately reflect some of the events in my story. And whose fault was that? Mine! Because I had inadvertently planted all sorts of false leads in my synopsis that she had drawn together into the following first BCC attempt:

Love. Betrayal. Sacrifice
As a lowly commoner forced into near slavery, Robert Marcel dreams of freedom. He makes a daring escape and is nearly caught, but a young girl helps him slip away from his cruel master.
Years pass and Robert uses his newfound liberty to make something of himself as a minstrel. Invited to play at the betrothal banquet of the Earl of Saxton, he is stunned to come face to face with the girl he’s never forgotten---now Lady Marguerite of Winbourne, fiancée to the earl.
Lady Marguerite has often thought of the young man she helped escape and her tender feelings for him quickly turn into much more when they are brought back into each other’s lives. But Marguerite is bound to marry another, a cruel Earl she does not love, and she longs to be free to marry Robert. Since she once helped him gain his freedom, can he help her now to do the same?
They have one chance to be together---if Robert can stop an assassination plot that could threaten the balance of power in England. With everything at stake, including his very life, Robert will stop at nothing to claim the woman he loves. But can love truly conquer all?

Now if this had only been the story I wrote, it would have been lovely! In many respects it was very close, but some things were “off. The way I had phrased some things in my synopsis had given Julie a false understanding of events. Julie told me from the beginning that this would be a back-and-forth refining process until we (mostly she!) came up with a version I was happy with. So in my email response, I typed the following (my comments are in BLUE CAPS; some of my comments have been edited for format and length):

Love. Betrayal. Sacrifice I LOVE THE IDEA BEHIND THESE THREE WORDS, BUT I’M NOT SURE “BETRAYAL” IS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE STORY. NEITHER OF MY CHARACTERS ARE ACTUALLY BETRAYED, ALTHOUGH ROBERT IS SET UP AS BEING A BETRAYER OF THE KING 
As a lowly commoner forced into near slavery THIS MAKES IT SOUND LIKE HE WAS FREE AND THEN FORCED INTO NEAR SLAVERY, WHEN INSTEAD HE WAS BORN INTO THAT LIFE Robert Marcel dreams of freedom. He makes a daring escape and is nearly caught, but a young girl helps him slip away from his cruel master. I LIKE THESE TWO LINES. (MAYBE CHANGE THE FIRST PHRASE TO SOMETHING LIKE, “As a lowborn serf in 13th Century England, Robert Marcel dreams of freedom.”)
Years pass and Robert uses his newfound liberty to make something of himself as a minstrel. Invited to play at the betrothal banquet of the Earl of Saxton, he is stunned to come face to face with the girl he’s never forgotten---now Lady Marguerite of Winbourne, fiancée to the earl. THESE LINES ARE GOOD.
Lady Marguerite has often thought of the young man she helped escape and her tender feelings for him quickly turn into much more when they are brought back into each other’s lives. But Marguerite is bound to marry another, a cruel Earl she does not love, and she longs to be free to marry Robert. Since she once helped him gain his freedom, can he help her now to do the same. I THINK THIS WORKS. IT DOES FOLLOW SOME OF HER THOUGHT PATTERNS. 
They have one chance to be together---if Robert can stop an assassination plot that could threaten the balance of power in England. With everything at stake, including his very life, Robert will stop at nothing to claim the woman he loves. But can love truly conquer all I’M NOT SURE THESE LINES ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN THE STORY. I PROBABLY DIDN’T GIVE YOU ENOUGH INFORMATION. THE CONFLICT HE HAS TO OVERCOME ISN’T STOPPING THE ASSASSINATION — IT’S OVERCOMING THE PREJUDICE (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) THAT SAYS A SERF/VILLEIN CAN’T MARRY A LADY. (A LOWBORN MINSTREL SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO MARRY A LADY, EITHER. :-) )
AFTER REREADING THE SUMMARY I SENT YOU, I SEE THAT I DID MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ROBERT CAUGHT WIND OF THE PLOT AGAINST GUNTHAR BEFORE THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT - HE ACTUALLY PREEMPTS THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, AND THAT LEADS TO A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT GRADUALLY UNRAVELS THE DETAILS OF THE PLOT - MY BAD FOR NOT MAKING THAT CLEAR!

After reflecting further on this version, I realized I had left out something even more important—that I had failed in my synopsis to make clear what the story of The Lady and the Minstrel was really “about.” So I sent a follow-up email to Julie, explaining in greater depth those aspects of the story I should have emphasized in the synopsis but didn’t.

Armed with the new information I had given her, Julie next came up with this version:

Prejudice. Customs. Culture. Can love truly conquer all?
In 13th century England, Robert Marcel, a common serf, chafes against the restrictions of his social class. In his mind, everyone should be free to pursue his own happiness---serf or nobleman---beholden to none  Robert tries to follow that dream and makes a daring escape. He’s nearly caught by his cruel master, but a young girl helps him slip away. 
Years pass and Robert uses his newfound liberty to make something of himself as a minstrel. Invited to play at the betrothal banquet of the Earl of Saxton, he is stunned to come face to face with the girl he’s never forgotten---now Lady Marguerite of Winbourne, fiancée to the earl. And with her status as a noblewoman she is completely out of his reach, no matter their history or how much he comes to love her. Is their love lost before it even had a chance to blossom all because of the circumstance of birth?
Lady Marguerite has often thought of the young man she helped escape. Her tender feelings for him quickly turn into much more when they are brought back into each other’s lives. But Marguerite is expected to marry the Earl, a man she does not love. Her social status dictates that she marry well, but she longs to be free to marry whom her heart chooses. Since she once helped Robert gain his freedom, can he help her now to do the same?

This was so very much closer! But being a bit (okay, maybe a lot!) of a nitpicker, I tinkered with this version and responded to it thusly:

In King John’s England, Robert Marcel chafes against the law that holds him bound as a serf on his lord’s manor. [REASONS FOR CHANGE: “restrictions” SOUNDED A LITTLE TOO MILD TO ME, MORE OF AN IRRITANT THAN A HEAVY, SUPPOSEDLY INESCAPABLE CONDITION IMPOSED ON ONE. In his mind, everyone should be free to pursue his own [happiness I’M AMBIVALENT ABOUT THE WORD “HAPPINESS”, BUT I’M NOT SURE WHY - IT MIGHT BE OKAY - I LOVE THE REST OF THIS SENTENCE!]—serf or nobleman—beholden to none. Robert tries to follow that dream and makes a daring escape. He’s nearly caught by his cruel master, but a young girl helps him slip away. I LOVE ALL OF THIS. :-)

Years pass and Robert uses his newfound liberty to make something of himself as a minstrel. Invited to play at a banquet for the Earl of Saxton, he is stunned to come face to face with the girl he’s never forgotten—Lady Marguerite of Winbourne, now betrothed to the earl. [REASON FOR CHANGE: THE TERM “FIANCEE” DIDN’T COME INTO USE UNTIL THE 1800s. NITPICKY, I KNOW! BUT “BETROTHED” IS MORE MEDIEVAL AND WE CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE IN THIS SENTENCE.] And with her status as a noblewoman she is completely out of his reach, no matter their history or how much he comes to love her. Is their love lost before it even had a chance to blossom all because of the circumstance of birth?
Lady Marguerite has often thought of the young man she helped escape. Her tender feelings for him quickly turn into much more when they are brought back into each other’s lives. But Marguerite is expected to marry the Earl, a man she does not love. [Her social status dictates that she marry well - IT’S CONSIDERED A DUTY FOR HER TO MARRY WELL BECAUSE SHE IS HEIRESS TO VAST ESTATES AND SHE IS EXPECTED TO MARRY A MAN WHOSE STATUS MATCHES HER OWN WHO CAN GOVERN THESE ESTATES IN HER NAME (BECAUSE, OF COURSE, AS A WOMAN IN THE MIDDLE AGES, A MAN IS EXPECTED TO DO THE ACTUAL PROTECTION AND MANAGEMENT OF THE LAND) AND ROBERT’S BIRTH WOULD PUT HIM OFF THE GRID OF POSSIBILITIES TO FULFILL THIS ROLE. I DON’T EXPECT YOU TO ADD ALL OF THIS TO THE BLURB, JUST CAN YOU WORD IT TO REFLECT MORE OF THE “DUTY” ASPECT OF HER MARRYING THE EARL, RATHER THAN SIMPLY A SOCIAL STATUS THING? MAYBE THAT SEEMS LIKE A SMALL DISTINCTION, BUT FULFILLING THE ROLE OF “DUTY” IS A MOTIVATING FACTOR IN MARGUERITE’S BETROTHAL TO THE EARL. ALSO, I MISS THE CHARACTERIZATION OF THE EARL BEING “CRUEL.” BUT YOU USE THE WORD “CRUEL” TO DESCRIBE ROBERT’S MASTER, SO WE’D NEED A DIFFERENT WORD THAT IMPLIES THE SAME CHARACTERIZATION FOR HIM. MAYBE THIS CHARACTERIZATION WOULD FIT BEST IN THE 2ND PARAGRAPH? BUT IT’S YOUR CALL. :-), but she longs to be free to marry whom her heart chooses. Since she once helped Robert gain his freedom, can he help her now to do the same? I STILL LIKE THIS PART. :-)

Retrospectively I also went back and added these comments to the lead-in: Prejudice. Customs. Culture. Can love truly conquer all? I’M NOT SURE I LIKE “CUSTOMS” AND “CULTURE,” BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY REPLACEMENT SUGGESTIONS. IT JUST GIVES ME THE FEEL THAT A READER WILL EXPECT THE STORY TO BE ABOUT “CUSTOMS AND CULTURE” AND WHILE THOSE ARE ASPECTS OF THE STORY, I DON’T WANT THE READER TO BE CONSCIOUSLY THINKING, “I’M READING A BOOK ABOUT CUSTOMS AND CULTURE” WHILE HE/SHE IS READING. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? (PROBABLY NOT! I’M NOT SURE HOW TO EXPLAIN IT OTHER THAN I DON’T THINK THE 2ND TWO WORDS GRAB ME AND PULL ME INTO THE STORY.)

One would think by now Julie was ready to throw my entire BCC against a wall in frustration, but instead she remained endlessly pleasant and cheerful and kind. She came back with this, which I accepted delightedly as the final version, for not only did it capture the essence of the romance and its conflicts, but in ways I can only ascribe to sheer inspiration, she also captured personality elements of my hero and heroine that I had never fully shared with her.

Here, then, is the BCC (or “blurb”) as it will appear on online book pages, as well as on a future print version, of The Lady and the Minstrel:

A forbidden love and a past they can’t leave behind . . .
In 13th century England, Robert Marcel chafes against the law that holds him bound as a villein on his lord’s manor. In his mind, everyone should be free to live how they choose—villein or nobleman—beholden to none  Robert tries to follow that dream and makes a daring escape. He’s nearly caught by his cruel master, but a young girl helps him slip away.
Years pass and Robert uses his newfound liberty to make something of himself as a minstrel. Invited to play at a banquet for the notorious Earl of Saxton, he is stunned to come face to face with the girl he’s never forgotten—now Lady Marguerite of Winbourne, betrothed to the earl. Her status as a noblewoman puts her completely out of his reach, but Robert knows they are meant to be together. He vows to make her his wife no matter what the cost.
Lady Marguerite has often thought of the young man she helped escape. Her tender feelings for him quickly turn into much more when they are brought back into each other’s lives, but Marguerite has a duty to marry the Earl. She longs to be free to marry Robert, the man she loves, but that will require her to sacrifice all she holds dear.
They are tested at every turn by those bent on driving them apart and destroying what they have found together. Can their love truly conquer all?

So there it is. The essence of the story captured beautifully by a hugely gifted woman who has never read the book, through what, in the end, was little more than a handful of email exchanges.


If you need help writing a BCC for a book of your own, I cannot recommend anyone more highly than Julie Coulter Bellon. You can contact her at juliecoulterbellon@gmail.com for a price list. Tell her a highly satisfied customer sent you. J

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